Road Journal .12 (Return to Austin)

Sunday, September 24, 2006
Road Journal .12 (Return to Austin)

In the mornings during my four days in Austin, I had great conversations with Ali (with whom I was staying) about development, emotions and brainpower. I could feel myself growing in all of these ways and was trying to pinpoint why so I could keep progressing at this monstrous rate. I knew that I'm not someone of unique intelligence or unique creativity. I'm neither the smartest nor the most creative in my own family.

If I was to have any success in literature it would be because I harnessed all I have and stretched it in a different way than anyone has ever done before.

That was my only hope. But somehow, out of desperation or design it was beginning to fall into place. My vague ideas were beginning to grow firm. All the tumblers were falling into place and I was learning at exponential rates. My reading comprehension was skyrocketing. My vocabulary was exploding.

It was as if I was gaining superhuman strength. Every answer and assurance I needed I was finding internally. Everything positive about me kicked in, locked on and automatic; including a laundry list of skill sets I never knew I had. When I got scared I found confidence -every time. When I was ignorant, knowledge fell like rain onto my sponge like brain. I could do no wrong. I was growing in an infinite capacity and like a young child was discovery capabilities I didn't know I had. I was in extreme metamorphosis only, unlike Kafka's Gregor, I was become more human.

Arriving in Austin, it felt like a premature return. From states away I felt like I'd been gone for years. I was a different person with different interests; I even looked a different too. My whole lifestyle had been re-invented in the pursuit of new goals. It's not as if I went from Good to Bad or Bad to Good. Morally, I was the same but my lifestyle and thought patterns were different.

Still, I had a lot of people I wanted to see. It was important for me not to alienate any of my old friends or associates. I still cared for those people and knew better than to abandon them.

After leaving my bags at Ali's, I walked the twenty blocks up to campus to see my old baseball coaches. I didn't want to stay long but thought it was the right thing to do as I was in town.

I walked into one of the coaches' offices and said hello. He shook my hand, took one look at my face, which I'd cut while working as a lifeguard, and told me I was going to get cancer. With heavy feet he walked out of the room. A second later, another of my coaches walked in. I said hello to him, told him I was in town for a few days and just wanted to say hi. He said hello, shook my hand, and stood beside me for an awkward second before I wished him the best and was on my way.

It wasn't the reception that anyone hopes for, but I knew the truth behind the event. Ironically, I had learned so much from these men and was using everything of what they had taught me to start off in my new direction. If not for their teachings I would not be in such a stage of growth. They cared for me a great deal but didn't understand what I was doing with my life. To some people it looked like I was drifting. Traveling the country and writing a novel? They didn't understand what I was doing. Then again, how could they?

I had an aqueous vision for my success and was slowly chasing that down, letting it crystallize. But until I could fully form my vision into a solid and sellable product, I knew many former friends would be cynical critics.

I left the baseball office deciding at that moment to leave all negative doubts behind me in that room. They weren't my doubts and I wouldn't have to live with them.

While in Austin, I was able to spend some time with some of my more intellectual friends. I went out one night with my buddy who works in advertising at GSD&M. I also spent some time with a friend who flies planes for the Air Force. It had been awhile since seeing the two of them and I wished I could see more of them.

On Friday afternoon, while walking back to Ali's from campus, I decided to stop at every bar in between, drink a beer at each one, then see what kind of shape I'd be in for the evening.

In one of the first alehouses I passed, I met an Ohio State fan, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, who owned a (O'Shaughnessy's Public House) in Columbus, OH. He offered me a place to stay when I come through Ohio. He even gave me a fistful of cigars. I don't smoke but almost felt I had to. As always, luck was falling my way.

Fortune proved that again the following day when I got a free ticket from the athletic department for the football game. Heaven was on my side.

Another nice thing about Austin, I got to see my friend and barber, Cisco Johnson, at the Wooten Barber Shop. Cisco has always been a good friend and supporter of mine. As always he gave me advice: "Stick to it and don't worry what anybody thinks."

While I was in the area, I stopped by Pita Healthy on the drag and saw Bruce, the owner. Bruce is another supporter. He even decided to throw some support out for SketchingStone.com (So if you live in Austin, eat at Pita Healthy. They have my picture on the wall.)

I spent the rest of my time at the museum or in the library or meeting musicians and writers in bars. I drank for free through friends at the Blind Pig Pub on sixth and enjoyed live music there every night.

When I needed shelter, rooms opened. When I needed food, it was offered. The universe was opening doors for me. I had felt that way before I went to Austin, but Austin proved it all over again. Everything I needed, I was finding.